“It’s time you  sleep or the scary monster will sneak in from the window and watch you”, said Neha to her 3 year old daughter Siya. Neha was tired and Siya was not ready to sleep yet.

Scaring children into accepting something is common. When it becomes difficult to bear tantrums of children, parents innocuously instill fear in their mind to make them listen.  But unknowingly we are installing fear in their innocent minds which might stay with them throughout their lives. This could even hamper their self-confidence and make them more vulnerable to strangers.

Here are some ways in which,  we unconsciously instill fear Fear of punishment: We often threaten our children of locking them in a dark room/bathroom. This may leave the child scared enough to not want to sleep alone.

Fear of doctor or teacher:  Just to make our life easy we show fear of doctor to our kids so that he can obey us. But in long run, child may resist going to doctor’s clinic.

Fear of failure: “Let’s see who comes first” is a common adage used by parents to push a child to do something quickly. This can leave the child with an unnecessary feeling of competitiveness always, a discomfort, or just frustration in case the older one finishes his milk first.

Fear of Imaginary characters: Imaginary ghosts or monsters may leave impressions in your little one’s fragile mind and create in them the fear of the unknown. They might even fear to stay in dark.

Here are some tips that you can adopt rather than scaring your child

1. Be firm on few non negotiable like meal time, safety and sleep routine.
2. Use reward-consequence system instead. When the child finishes a chore on time, he gets a reward. If he does not then he misses going out to play.
3. Spend time in explaining why doing that is important and useful. Repetitive and consistent messaging helps the child to understand and follow

So refrain and not chide, make aware and do not scare.

Image Source: www.wholeparent.com