This month being a prematurity awareness month, I thought of sharing my experience and learnings as a mom of an extremely premature baby.
I was in 26th week of my pregnancy when my water bag ruptured, and I was admitted to emergency. Immediately I was told that we need to give a steroid injection over next 48 hours to strengthen babies lungs before we can think of getting him out, and till then his heart beat needs to be monitored. All this monitoring went on for 4 days and I was completely bed ridden for these 4 days, not allowed to move even an inch. I was asked to meet so many doctors who told me multiple things about a preterm baby, like, a 26 weeker may or may not survive, the baby might have some complications for lifetime etc. Obviously I was extremely scared after listening to all this, but, something inside me always told me that all will be fine. The baby kicks I felt in these 4 days I had never felt before, and every time I felt these kicks, I always felt as if my baby is telling me, bring me out and I will be all fine mumma.
Finally I was operated on the 5th day and my baby was directly taken to NICU (he was 880 gms and on ventilator). While i was in recovery room the lactation consultant (LC) of the hospital came and hand expressed colostrum for my baby. She told me that please keep expressing milk for your baby, its the best medicine for him. Being a part of BSIM, during pregnancy I had read a lot on importance of mothers milk. As soon as I was shifted to room, I got a call from NICU that please express and send milk for baby. I was not allowed to see my baby but, the only thing I could do for him was send my milk regularly (and I followed this religiously, till he didn’t latch properly). I saw his pic which my hubby had clicked and that tiny little soul was going through so much. I was so guilty for whatever was happening to him, he was on ventilator with so many pipes around him, i knew somewhere it was my fault. I saw him after 3 days and i just dont have words to express what i went through. I was scared to even touch my tiny little baby. The doctors and nurses at NICU told me that your milk and your touch are the best medicines for your baby, so please spend time with him and express milk for him. Don’t be scared to touch your baby, your touch will heal him faster. I followed every word the doctors said. I kept expressing milk with the support of my family, members of BSIM group and LC at the hospital. Also, I started spending time with my little one, sitting next to him and just seeing him, touching him and later when he was off ventilator giving Kangaroo Mother Care (KMC). He was in NiCU for 66 days and not even a single day we fed him formula, But yes he was not able to latch during his stay at NICU, we tried a lot but he couldnt (he was too small and too weak)
A few takeaways for premie moms which i have learnt are :
1) More than anyone else around you, just trust your baby and spread positivity around him. I always used to tell my bub you are strong, you will be fine soon and we will go back home. I used to sing rhymes and songs while giving him KMC. Our thoughts and attitude makes a lot of difference in healing. Stay away from all the negative people, negative thoughts, complaining, cribbing, depression, show your baby how happy, positive and strong his mom is.
2) Two most important things you can provide to your baby are a) Mother milk and b) Mother touch. As we all know breast milk has all the nutrients and anti bodies for baby and also it is customized as per the need of the baby, so automatically it will contain all the nutrients your premie requires. Mother is the only person a baby knows before birth, so he will always remember your touch, your voice and even your heartbeat so regular KMC really plays an important role, it lets the baby feel like he used to feel in your womb.
3) Never give up, this is what I have learnt from my baby and thats why i never gave up on my breast feeding journey. My baby was not able to latch until he was 4 months+ but still I used to try latching him always, he started latching on only one side when he was 5 months and the other side around 7 months. So just keep trying. He is 17 months now and I still feed him, whatever more little he is getting he is happy and i am happy too..
4) Maintain proper hygiene, i have bottle fed my bub for most of the time, i have ensured proper washing and sterlization of bottles and pump parts. Unfortunately I could never trust anyone except my hubby for this task and it was either him or me who washed all his bottles. Let people feel bad if they want to, but you need to keep your bub away from all sorts of infection. Even after coming back home, my bub stayed only in our room for around 5 months with no visitors at all. We made our room a mini ICU, where no one was allowed with slippers, no unwashed hands, no dirty clothes. Even his clothes I used to wash separately and hang in room only to avoid any dust. I had kept those doctor gowns and masks at home.
5) Stay strong, bringing up a premie is a tough task, really a tough one and you need to maintain your calm to do this. Keep patience, trust yourself, Trust God and all will be fine. This is a phase in life and will get over soon, the point is how you take this challenge up, a lot of times you will question this why me ? Why my baby ? But may be we are the Gods chosen ones to face such tough challenges in life. Ups and downs will be a part of life (they always are, but with a premie it is a daily affair) I remember my Bub was initially taken out of ventilator and put on air flow in a week, but again after two days he was back on ventilator, that time our doctor told, every day is a new day for these babies, some will be smooth and some will be rough, so be prepared.
6) Ignore what people around you are saying. They will keep telling you he is so weak, he is so thin, he doesn’t look like a normal baby, he doesn’t behave like a normal baby, etc etc etc.. Just trust your doctor, if he says baby is fine, baby is fine. Milestones of a Premie baby are checked as per the corrected age, not everyone understands this, so just ignore. If your baby is active and playful be happy.
In the end I would just like to reiterate ” Trust yourself, Trust your baby and Be positive”. These premies are strong babies and they teach us also how to be strong. Stay Strong and Be a Proud Premie Mom, prematurity is not a mothers fault, Its a Gods gift to some special mommies only.
Lots of Love
Deepti (Proud Mom of a Premie)