“I am going to Sweden” he said. “But….but I am 5 months pregnant”, I cried but to no avail. I know he wanted to be with me more than I needed him, but he had to work for me, for us and for the little miracle on the way.
“I’ll be here before the baby, trust me.” I smiled and wished him luck for his journey, but something inside me knew that he wouldn’t make it on time. I hushed the thought away and started counting each day backwards 100,99,98…5,4,3
“Just 3 days to go dear, Tell my baby Papa’s coming soon. Go and get your ultrasound done today and tell me how my baby looked”. Happily I hung up the phone and went off for my ultrasound. I knew this was the last time I would see my baby on the screen. Next time I would meet him/her would be in person. I entered the ultrasound room smiling, talking to my doctor, super excited for my baby’s arrival, when all of a sudden she asked, “Can you feel your baby move?” My heart sank, I had tears in my eyes, “What Happened” was all I could manage to utter.
Next thing I knew I was rushed to the hospital and was getting ready for my operation. I felt dizzy, not knowing what was going on. I just picked up the phone and called, “I told you not to go, Just get on the next flight” But I knew he wouldn’t be able to make it on time, I would have to go through it all alone.
All of a sudden the happiness of my baby’s arrival was taken over by the grief of not having him besides me. All of the moments I had imagined together shattered. He wouldn’t be next to me helping me through the pain, he wouldn’t be the first one to hold the baby. My head became heavy and I couldn’t decipher what was happening. Tears kept strolling down as I was rushed to the OT. The doctor asked if I had pain anywhere. But the pain I had in my heart had no cure.
“It’s a girl” the nurse said, but I couldn’t smile. I was in the recovery room when my mom asked why am I crying so much. I couldn’t reply, I just asked to speak to him. I couldn’t sleep a second after my delivery inspite of the anaesthesia or the zillions of injections they kept giving me. I was wide awake with my eyes stuck on the clock, ticking away, each minute taking me closer to meeting him.
It was 5 in the morning when the door opened and he came in. He picked up our daughter and brought her near me. That was the first time I smiled.
That moment made me realise that I had fallen in love with him all over again, that without him my smiles are lost, that I needed him to be alive.
As he hugged me, with our angel in his hands, my world became complete. My moment of finding ‘True Love’ in my husband’s arms and my daughter’s eyes.
— Arin Kaur —
I am Arinderdeep Kaur. A teacher by profession. I have been blessed with a baby girl who is 7 months old now. I love reading and dancing. I love spending time with my munchkin and watch her grow day by day.