Its a daily routine in house to hear repetitive NO from my 3 year old for everything. Sometimes the “no’s” start as soon as the day begins. My son tells me “no” for everything from brushing the teeth to eating his dinner. Hearing NOs for everything from him, makes life difficult for me. At times, I dont’t have a clue on how to handle situations. So I decided to research and work on it (being a mom makes you half a psychiatrist).
After researching on the internet, I found out where I was wrong with my toddler and made few pointers to correct myself. Here are my suggestion from what I learnt.
Give them options to choose from
Twos, twos — everything comes in twos these days! Offer them choices to chose from but offering a limited choice is absolutely the best way of avoiding a showdown with your toddler. For example – Do you want to wear the white shoes or the red shoes today?; Do you want juice or milk?; Okay, time to choose! Do you want to put away your blocks or your stuffed animals? Two choices are enough at this stage, and this technique can be used for everything from getting dressed to solving eating issues.
Teach them more responses
One of the reasons toddlers say no so much is they don’t know many other negative words. Help your toddler expand her vocabulary by turning no into a game, What’s the opposite of no? That one is easy. What comes in between no and yes; (Maybe, perhaps, and possibly); What’s a nicer way to say no? No, thank you. If your toddler is very verbal, try, “No, thank you very much, I couldn’t possibly”.
Focus on the positive
Your toddler doesn’t like hearing “no” all the time from you but think about how many times you say it to her every day. For example, “Don’t go out without wearing shoes” is more likely to start an argument than “Please wear shoes before going out otherwise you will get hurt.” Tone is also important. Of course you’re going to yell if your child is about to run into traffic, but she’s more likely to do what you ask when you use a calm, firm voice.
Don’t use the word ‘No’ yourself
Your toddler might be using the word “no” because he/she constantly hears the word directed at him/her from you. Remember they are your mirror reflection doing whatever you do.Try to cut back on your own use of the word and use alternatives to no whenever possible. One tactic is to replace the word with other phrases more specific to the situation at hand, like ;Its not safe to play on the stairs, lets play with your blocks instead, or “its not good to hit your friends” ; A toddler has a will — but she cannot always be exerting it all over the place; says developmental psychologist Denham.
Try to be an effective parent and think about their actions from a child’s perspective. Be calm and patient while dealing the tantrums of toddlers. Its just a phase and will pass it too. So enjoy every moment of this phase!!